How to Stay Married

 

First...I am NO expert on marriage...and I am far from the perfect wife...but through the struggles of blending two people together, we have learned how to make it through the hard times. I have been married to my husband 4 years and we have been together 6. Here are a few of our tips:

1. Bite your freakin' tongue!

     ~Stop saying things before you think about it. My husband is AWESOME at this. We will be in the middle of a discussion...or argument...and my husband will sit there quietly before he says anything...he can sit there for 5 minutes...just silent as a wall... It drives me nuts, but he does this because he is thinking of the effect his words may have. Will I get pissed? Will I be hurt? Will it benefit our communication or turn it into an argument?

2. Go to bed mad!

     ~Screw the whole "don't go to bed mad" business...If you know there is no resolving the issue tonight, roll over, and go to bed...SERIOUSLY! You'll feel a million times better in the morning and you both will have clear heads to finish the conversation argument-free.

3. No important conversations past 10 pm!

     ~This is unbelievably hard...not gonna lie. But, it's necessary. Our Bishop actually told us this and a General Authority said this in a conference talk at one point or another. Again, this is hard because I never want to have important conversations while our son is awake, so I'd wait til after he went to bed, then spend an hour thinking about talking to him before I actually do. By the time we talked, we were both TIRED and GRUMPY and then an argument breaks out...Just talk the issues out and if the clock strikes 10, shut-up and pick it back up tomorrow.

Catching the pattern here?? COMMUNICATION!! Think about the other person FIRST, before you open your trap :)

4. Have sex!

     ~Never stop sleeping together...ok, you can stop, just don't go a long stretch of time without it. It's necessary in a marriage to be able to share this with each other. I know for us, we could argue and spit fire at each other, then 10 minutes later be fine and have some fun...For real, just have sex. And ladies...get out of your head about it. Who cares about the laundry that needs to be done, or how tired you are? How long does it really take??? Give each other that time and you'll both feel much better.

5. Be his sexy wife!

     ~By this, I don't mean you need to change how you look or anything, just put effort into it. When we were dating, I always looked my best for him...there were plenty of times I didn't have a stitch of make-up on, but I still tried to look good for him. Now, we have 6 years history and 2 pregnancies...Both of our bodies have changed, and neither of us look like we did 6 years ago. But, who cares? Just don't look horrible ladies! Take off the dang sweats/yoga pants and throw on a pair of jeans...I don't care if you do this two minutes before he comes home...just do it. If you used to wear makeup, put the stuff back on! Do your hair...just LOOK GOOD. Again, no need to go all beauty-queen on him, just don't look like a sweat wearing-untamed hair-old hag...

 So, the key things that have saved our marriage is learning to communicate, and keeping things a bit sexy. Got it? Now, go practice it!

XOXO